The Beastie Boys Are Old

Presenting Exhibit A:

Shamrock Shake Recap

For the month of March I got 6 Shamrock Shakes, and since today is the last day of the month I'm going to try to get one more to last me the next 11 months.

For the record, here are the McDonald's that I tried to get Shamrock Shakes at:
Owings Mills Mall Food Court - YES
Loch Raven Shopping Center - NO
Port Covington Wal-Mart - NO
Falls Rd. in Hampden - YES
North Ave. and Howard St. - NO
White Marsh near Ikea - NO
Charlottesville, VA near Virginia State University - YES

Did YOU get a Shamrock Shake this month? Let me know where you found them, and which stores had the dumbass employees that stared at you like you had three heads when you asked for them.

Turning Something That Annoys the Crap Out of Me Into a Silly Game

Now that I've used up all my "listening priveleges" for the month on Yahoo! Radio, I'm entertaining myself by listening to WPOC and counting how many times they play songs by Toby Keith, Kenny Chesney, Montgomery Gentry and Tim McGraw.

Right now, as of 2:27 p.m., these four artists are locked in a DEAD HEAT with 3 songs played by each. Who is going to pull into the lead?

Judging by today's programming trends, Chesney is poised to take over sole possession of first place. I'll be sure to keep you updated, as I'm sure you are all on the edge of your seats as I am.

*Update 2:51 p.m.: In the spirit of March Madness, I was hoping for a monumental upset, but WPOC has stayed true to its predictable form. Kenny Chesney has taken a craptacular one-song lead over the other three competitors.

*Update 3:07 p.m.: Add another checkmark next to Toby Keith's name, he is now tied with Chesney at 4.

*Update 3:16 p.m.: Montgomery Gentry scores again. This leads me to boldly predict a Tim McGraw song in the near future.

*Update 4:22 p.m.: Tim McGraw has officially been left in the dust. Kenny Chesney breaks away from the pack once again, leading with 5 songs played since 10 a.m.

*Update 4:53 p.m.: A shocking turn of events! (Yeah, not really.) WPOC plays its fifth Montgomery Gentry song of the day. Final update coming in mere minutes.

Okay, at the end of the day it looks like a tie between Chesney and Montgomery Gentry, two mediocre country acts that everyone else seems to love for some reason. Bleh.

I think I may email my findings to the Program Director and see what he thinks about it all. Not much, probably, but it would warm my snarky heart to do it.

Funny Headlines

I have about 50 feeds in my RSS reader, and aside from ESPN and the Best Week Ever blog, most of it is work-related, and kind of dry. However, while scanning Inside Google, I saw this headline:

Tom Cruise is a Douche

How great is that?

Oh, while I'm sharing stuff, any girl who read the Baby-Sitter's Club books back in the 80's and early 90's needs to read the BSC Headquarters blog. A twenty-something woman is rereading all the BSC books and is posting recaps and reactions.

I totally want to go back to my parents' house and get all the BSC books that I couldn't bear to throw away or donate and read them again.

Silly Questionaire

Stolen from Angie's blog...

Directions: Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP/whatever on shuffle. Say the following questions aloud (or not), and press play. Use the song title as the answer to the question. NO CHEATING. Sadly.

1. How does the world see you?
I Believe in a Thing Called Love - the Darkness

2. Will I have a happy life?
Here Comes the Sun - George Harrison

3. What do my friends think of me?
I Miss My Friend - Darryl Worley

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Zorba the Greek - Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass

5. How can I make myself happy?
Summertime - Miles Davis

6. What should I do with my life?
One Week - Barenaked Ladies

7. Will I ever have children?
Pardon Me - Incubus

8. What is some good advice for me?
Rock You Baby - Toby Keith

9. How will I be remembered?
Independence Day - Martina McBride

10. What's my signature dancing song?
Achy Breaky Heart - Billy Ray Cyrus

11. What's my current theme song?
Danny Boy - Johnny Cash

12. What do others think is my current theme song?
Maybe I'm Amazed - Paul McCartney

13. What shall they play at my funeral?
Welcome - 311

14. What type of men do I like?
Rocket Man - Elton John

15. How's my love life?
Time for Me to Fly - REO Speedwagon

16. To sum it all up:
The Time Warp - Rocky Horror Picture Show

So here's what we've learned about me: my friends miss me, I like rocket men, and I like dancing to Achy Breaky Heart.

Yeah, now I remember why I don't normally post stuff like this in my blog. :-P

Admitting Defeat

I concede my efforts to eat better to you, Thin Mints.

Ever since my boss brought you in this afternoon, I have felt you taunting me from the table in the center of the room. Just far enough out of reach that I have to get up and walk over, but close enough for me to see you, just hanging out in your little green box.

I have shown a great amount of restraint so far, only having 3. But as the afternoon wears on and lunch fades into a distant memory, I can feel my willpower slowly vanishing.

*Shaking my fist at the Girl Scouts*

Unacceptable

Lindsay Lohan, you are no Wonder Woman.

I'm a Mean Person

I recently signed up for MySpace because all the cool kids are doing it and I didn't want to be left out. I realized quickly that all kinds of assorted losers and asshats would be sending me messages asking me to be their "friend." I don't care about helping to promote anyone's lame garage band, nor do I want to get hit on by random guys in Texas. At the bottom of my profile, I wrote a small disclaimer stating that I most likely will not add any friends if I haven't actually met you in person.

Then I realized that no one actually reads your profile before hitting "send message."

One of the better exchanges I've had on MySpace follows...

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Cecil
Date: Mar 15, 2006 11:51 AM

We saw your profile, thought it was cool and thought you might like our music. We're trying to make some new friends and fans. Please take a minute to check us out and let us know what you think. Show your support and add our band if you like us. Hope to see you at one of our shows. Best of luck to you in all your endeavours. Have a great 2006! Take care, The Gypsy Sons


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Jen
Date: Mar 20, 2006 6:40 AM

I doubt you actually read my profile or you would have seen this:

"By the way, I don't want to add you to my friends so you can promote your band, and I probably won't add you if I've never met you before."

Please stop spamming. Thanks.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Cecil
Date: Mar 20, 2006 2:16 PM
Subject: RE: RE: The Gypsy Sons
Body: You are a mean person! Nothing more from us ever! Promise. Because you are a mean person!.... We look at every profile because we are try to make new friends. Not you! you have no friends, because you are mean.......!!!!!!!!!!Sorry we made your day so bad, but I think everyday is a bad day for you......


Good luck! TGS

------

Oh no, some lame band thinks I'm a mean person! My feelings are so hurt. Not that anyone cares, because as you can see here, this stranger has already determined that I "have no friends."

*Sigh* Every day is a bad day for me.

Our Meetings Don't Start Til We Sober Up

Top memories form the KKY-TBS convention at Virginia State University:

- Spending hours searching for a damn liquor store. Note to self: bring your own next year.

- Flounder, get your meat off the table! We're in public!

- I'd be hot if I was a baked potato

- Deisler doing 6 carbombs in 5 minutes...and NOT throwing up

- Meeting my grandlittle. It was awesome, but made me feel kinda old.

- Bailing out on the jurisdiction report to go back to the hotel...because I'm alumni now and I don't have to sit through the boring meetings!

- Bitching about Fam with Gerry and Fred

- Are we there yet? No. Are we there yet? No! Are we there yet? Ricky, we're going to leave you on the side of the road and make you walk back to the hotel.

- No hot water at the hotel until about 6 pm Friday

- Edward 40 Hands

- Those Damn Gamma Xi's win the A. Frank Martin award...til they get suspended again

- Gossiping, bitching, making fun of everyone...ah, that's brotherhood

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

That's all I have to say about this:

Eagles sign ex-Texans receiver Gaffney

By Len Pasquarelli
ESPN.com

The Philadelphia Eagles have added another solid player to their young wide receiver corps, a group that collectively will try to compensate for the departure of Terrell Owens, by signing unrestricted free agent Jabar Gaffney to a one-year contract.

A four-year veteran, Gaffney had played his entire career with the Houston Texans, either as a No. 2 or a No. 3 wideout. He figures to compete for the No. 2 job with Philadelphia, where the Eagles coaches will use mini-camps and training camp to better define the roles of its young wide receivers.

Gaffney, 25, is more quick than fast, works well out of the slot and between the hashes, and should be a good fit in the Eagles' offense, which features West Coast-style principles. The durable Gaffney, the son of former NFL wide receiver Derrick Gaffney, has never missed a game in his career.

A second-round choice in the 2002 draft, Gaffney has appeared in 64 games, with 50 starts. Playing in a Houston passing game that lacked consistency, he registered 171 receptions for 2,009 yards and seven touchdowns. He started 13 of 16 games in 2005 and had a career-best 55 catches, although he averaged just 8.9 yards per catch. In 2004, he averaged 15.4 yards per reception.

The former University of Florida standout is a good athlete and he will bring some size (6-feet-1, 205 pounds) to an Eagles wide receiver contingent that collectively lacks that commodity.

With the departure of Owens, who was released on Tuesday afternoon, Philadelphia became even younger at wide receiver. The team's top six receivers, counting Gaffney, average just 3.5 seasons of experience and only one, Todd Pinkston, who is coming off an Achilles injury that sidelined him for all of 2005, has more than four seasons in the league.

I haven't even gotten my effing jersey yet and the curse has struck! (See my last post if this doesn't make sense).

So now the question is, do I return the Texans jersey and buy an Eagles jersey?

Arrgh.

It's a Family Tradition

It all started in July 2002 when my dad bought my brother a Scott Rolen Phillies jersey for his birthday. Rolen was a favorite for both of them, and they were planning on going to Philly to watch the series against the A's soon, so why not get a jersey to wear to the games?

Rolen was traded to the St. Louis Cardinals two weeks later.

While I'm a Ravens fan, the rest of my family likes the Eagles. After the Super Bowl last year where T.O. came in hurt and caught a few balls but did not help the team to the ultimate goal of winning the game, my dad thought to himself that maybe Owens was not such a bad guy as the media made him out to be, and bought a #81 Owens jersey.

He never even got to wear it before T.O. turned on the team and made their entire year a nightmare.

I'd been wanting a Ray Lewis jersey for a while but never broke down to buy one, until we were at Modell's at Arundel Mills and I found a really cute white jersey with lavendar trim and lettering.

The first time I wore it was right before he got injured and was out for the rest of the season.

I didn't think much of these three incidents until the one that cemented the curse.

C. REALLY REALLY wanted a powder blue Drew Brees Chargers throwback jersey, so I surprised him and got him one for his birthday, after weeks and weeks of searching for the damn thing.

He wore it once before the Chargers' final game of the season when Brees severely hurt his shoulder, and just yesterday he signed with the New Orleans Saints.

I finally found a Jabar Gaffney Texans jersey and it's scheduled to be delivered today. All I'm going to say is, if he happens to be out walking by some train tracks and accidentally gets run over, don't come looking for me.

Riot A Go-Go

I was watching hour 5 of I Love Toys Friday night, and the top 10 was fairly predictable. Mr. Pototo Head was in there, as were the yo yo, GI Joe and Lego (which all rhyme. I'm pretty impressed with myself right now.) Anyway, Barbie came up at number 2. 2! What in the world could possibly beat Barbie? The hula hoop? I'm so disappointed in America for voting the hula hoop the number 1 toy ever.

I threatened to riot if Barbie was not number 1, and that's what I did. I went outside an promtly overturned a couple cars and set them on fire.


I figured I was done and that's all I really needed to do to make my displeasure with the I Love Toys countdown known, but then some Irish soccer hooligans joined in, jumping on some nearby parked cars and setting more stuff on fire.


I said to them, "Irish soccer hooligans, what are you rioting for?" They shouted their replies but they were completely unintelligible, perhaps something about David Beckham or corned beef and cabbage. So I pretended I understood then quickly made a move to get inside my apartment, but before I could, police with full riot gear and German Shepherds showed up. I like dogs, so I stayed outside to pet the pups for a minute or two.



Thins were escalating quickly, and by the time the cops got the Irish soccer hooligans under control, a group of Lakers fans joined in, burning makeshift figures of Allen Iverson and Tim Duncan.


I wondered why the Lakers fans were rioting, since their team hasn't won a championship since 2002. Instead of staying outside amidst this mayhem to try to find the answer, I decided to just go back inside and watch What Not to Wear.

The End.

The Truth About Barry Bonds

Barry Bonds and MC Hammer are actually the same person.

Well, have YOU ever seen them in the same place at the same time? Didn't think so.

New Show on VH1: I Hate Michael Ian Black

I was watching I Love Toys on VH1 last night. It's a countdown of the 100 best toys ever. What a great idea! C and D list celebrities sitting around reminiscing about their childhoods, and me remembering all this crap I used to have. I had a good many of these toys, and it took watching this show for me to realize what a spoiled kid I was. How did my parents afford not only all the Barbies, but the board games, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures, the Super Soakers, the Fisher Price airplane, the teddy bears and Pound Kitties, and all the video games. After watching last night's episode, I really want to find an old NES on ebay so I can play Super Mario 3 and Maniac Mansion again.

Anyway, Michael Ian Black's resume basically consists of I Love the 80's, I Love the 90's, I Love the 80's Strikes Back, I Love the 70's, I Love the 90's Part Deux, and I Love the 80's 3-D. So why is he getting all pissy about having to appear on I Love Toys? You don't have to comment on everything, my friend! It's kind of a downer when you just sit around and look annoyed and exasperated at every toy, complaining about what a dumb toy it was. This is not a show to be cyncial on, because you're RUINING MY MEMORIES!

Toys #20-1 are going to be on tonight. If Barbie isn't number 1 I'm going to start a riot.

Random Thoughts...

Went to Howl at the Moon Friday night. I got slightly tipsy for the first time in months. Need to think of some more different songs to request next time, because I'm getting really tired of Piano Man and the like.

Baltimore/DC Kappa Kappa Psi and Tau Beta Sigma Alumni group held its first meeting Saturday morning at Bowie State. One guy who showed up was named (and I'm not kidding) Howard Cunningham. It took all of my willpower not to ask him how the Fonz was doing.

NFL Labor Union talks are on and off. Can we just start the free agency period already? I'm hoping for Drew Brees or Daunte Culpepper but I'm prepared for the disappointment of a Kerry Collins.

I've had a $25 coupon for DSW burning a hole in my wallet for months now, but the past few times I've visited I've found absolutely nothing that interests me. So, C finally got to buy his "gay shoes" and I let him use my coupon.

Didn't watch the Oscars last night because I just didn't care, and I'm not a fan of Jon Stewart. I haven't seen any of the movies, but we do have Walk the Line on our Netflix que.

Speaking of Netflix, we watched disc 2 of some Tenacious D thing. Now, I like Tenacious D and Jack Black in general, but the short films on this disc were HIGHLY disturbing. So there's your warning.

Can we get someone to pass a law in Congress or something about putting a moritorium on all Brokeback Mountain and Dick Cheney jokes? We can all see them coming a mile away at this point.

Shamrock Shake count for the month = 1. I gotta find some other McD's in the area that serve them.

I'd like to get an MP3 player, but I'm not sold on the iPod. I think I've settled on the Creative Zen Nano 1GB. Any opinions?

It's March!

Ah. It's already March. You know what I love about this month? That in 3 weeks it will officially be spring. Flip flops and driving in the car with the windows rolled down can't be far after that.

I'm also looking forward to March Madness, because it's pretty much the only sport to watch right now. And Duke tends to lose at some point in the month, but I'm really hoping that their loss to FSU last night wasn't the only one.

St. Patrick's Day is this month too. Even if you're not as Irish as I am it's a fun day. Everyone gets drunk, sings along to Danny Boy, and acts like a soccer hooligan. Of course, there's the parade to contend with, but I can overlook that in the spirit of the celebration.

My birthday is the 28th and I'll be 24 years old. It's not exactly a milestone or anything, but birthdays are usually a good time because people make a big deal over you for a day and you get coupons in the mail from DSW and places like that. If you're at a loss over what to get me, let me point you here, here or here.

But you know what I love most about the month of March?

This Is What We Call a "Publicity Stunt"

Hey look, it's Star Jones. "A-legg-ed-ly!"

I Like This Idea

But you just know some smart-ass is going to park his cat there because he's in a hurry.