The Wegman's Experience

Wegman's is a classy kind of grocery store, but that doesn't stop unclassy people from shopping there. On my last two visits I've encountered some really rude people who are blissfully unaware of their surroundings.

A few weeks ago I dropped in to get lunch in the Wegman's market place area of the store. I only have an hour, so bobbing and weaving around dopey housewives doing their grocery shopping in a leisurely fashion in the middle of the day was not how I planned to spend my break. As I sat down to eat upstairs a couple of about 40-ish had just finished, and when the man stood up he dropped his empty Snapple bottle on the floor. Shards of glass went everywhere, and instead of looking mortified (as I would have) they laughed. And then left. Luckily a Wegman's employee was nearby and came to sweep up this lovely pair's mess for them and no one got hurt.

Today I was sitting next to a woman who was having lunch with her young daughter. I think it's nice when parents spend time with their kids, as I know I always had a good time when I got to go out to lunch with my dad when I was younger. Except this mom was yakking on the phone the entire time they were there as the kid looked bored and kind of sad. When mom finally ended her call, she started text messaging. The girl stood up with her bag of Fritos and accidentally dumped half the bag all over the floor. She started crying because she wanted to eat the chips. Her mom laughed, then they both left.

I always thought that Wal-Mart customers were the rudest people in the world, but I'm starting to believe that they may actually be an improvement over the too-good-to-feel-embarrassed-or-clean-up-after-myself crowd at Wegman's.

Not Walking Softly

Yesterday at work I was rounding the corner when one of the VPs called me back to his office. He told me I have a really intimidating walk, and that when he heard me coming he thought to himself "someone's gonna get it."

So now I'm overly conscious of the sound I make as I'm walking, and I'm trying to figure out what it is about it that is intimidating. Is it my pace? Is it an "authoritative" sounding step? I don't know. But if you've got problem employees at your office, I'd be happy to come in and walk around to scare them straight. Rates can be negotiated at a later time.

Irish Eyes Smile on Marching Ravens

Read about it here

But Will There Be Pi?

It's 3.14 - happy Pi Day! I had pizza for lunch, of course. Perhaps I will get a cherry pie at the grocery store tonight and do this holiday up right.

And tomorrow, beware the Ides of March.

I know I'm a major dork, so no need to point that out.

All-Consuming Curiosity

Have you ever wondered about something really insignificant to an absurd level? This weekend I was watching TV when an ad for some kind of Dove beauty product (I think it was either lotion or body wash) came on. I just so happened to have a bag of Dove candy on my coffee table, and both products were in my line of sight at the same time. For some reason the thought had never crossed my mind that these two completely different companies had the same name.

Or were they different companies? Maybe Dove took a page out of Yamaha's book of making both pianos and motorcycles and decided to specialize in chocolate and cellulite-firming creams. I had to know which scenario was correct, but Wikipedia and all other Web sources failed me.

Since I'm a "gotta know or it'll kill me" kind of person, I sent an e-mail to the Dove beauty products web site. Today I got my answer:

Hi Jennifer,

Thanks for writing!

Our Dove baths and body products are manufactured through Unilever. As for the Dove chocolates they are not affiliated with us.

Thanks for your interest!
Your friends at Dove

And there you have it. Just in case you were wondering...which you probably weren't.

Spotted at the Walgreen's on Fayette Street

6 (+1 Alternate) Angry Jurors

So yesterday was my day to serve the city of Baltimore and report for jury duty. I'll spare you most of the details of standing in a line, then sitting in a room, then standing in another line, then sitting in a different room, etc., and hit you with the lowlights.

Now I will put this disclaimer out there: I thought this was an interesting experience and I enjoyed witnessing a true cross-section of Baltimore City's residents. But overall I felt my presence really wasn't needed.

With a low number of 246, I got called into a courtroom for the first jury selection of the day, at around 10:30. The 40 jurors present each rose and said "here" when our number was called, and we were told to raise our hands if we answered yes to any of the judge's questions (stuff like "do you recognize these people or those people," "are you familiar with this block of this street," "have you ever been involved in a property dispute"). I didn't answer yes to any of these.

Then about half of us in the room (not including me) were asked to approach the bench for a short questioning by the judge and two lawyers on the case while a static-y white noise sound was played over the loudspeaker, preventing the rest of us to hear what was going on. Of those people, 6 jurors and one alternate was chosen. And that was that. I was hoping to get sent home, but instead we all got sent back to the waiting room, presumably to get sent to another selection later in the day.

While my couch at home would have been a nice place to have been, I really couldn't complain too much about the worn maroon leather couch I got to sit on the rest of the day. It was especially nice after Captain Snorey next to me was called to one of the courtrooms and I was able to stretch out and read. I had an out-dated issue of Time magazine that someone had scribbled their commentary on:

If you can't make it out, that's a big "666" next to Barack Obama and a pair of devil horns and a Satan beard drawn on John McCain's face.

I called my boss during my lunch break to see what I had missed out on the past two days. She wished me luck and told me to try not to get picked. My entire strategy for the day was to sneeze on decision makers and look as judgmental as possible, but I never even got a chance to to any of this.

The jury clerk, who probably realized how boring his job was about halfway through his first day, did his best to entertain himself and the depressed, sallow-looking people sitting in the fluorescent-lit waiting rooms. Instead of simply requesting a certain person report to the counter, they were given a "shout out," and during the announcement of our lunch break he told us that we'd be broken into two groups - one would be required to return by 1:45 and the other at a quarter of two. Not hilarious, but aside from the unintentionally funny Sir Snoresalot, it was the only thing to make me smile all day.

I made $15 for my trouble, but spent $7 on lunch and $1.25 on a bottle of Mountain Dew. I was going to take a cab home, but I figured, it's a nice day, so why not walk a few blocks and save a bit of cash. I didn't get tired til I got to Mt. Royal, and by then it would be kind of ridiculous to take a cab five blocks, so I toughed it out. I thought maybe some light exercise would be good for my immune system, and if nothing else it would tire me out and I'd get to sleep early. Not so, as my late night Brett Favre diatribe proved.

Brett Favre

I heard Brett Favre announced his retirement from the NFL today, perhaps ESPN mentioned it quickly after curling highlights.

Non-stop retrospectives, weepy violin music and slow-motion video fit for the death of a member of royalty, and the sports talking heads obsessing over Favre's place in the all-time NFL quarterback hierarchy. The SportsNation poll tonight: Is Brett Favre in the top 10, top 5, top 3 or is he *the* top guy ever? I think America voted top 5.

Wherever he ends up ranked, let's have a little perspective here. He's a sports figure, not a hero. Heroes rush into burning buildings while others are rushing out, and heroes fearlessly fight overseas in dangerous conditions for the rights of those of us at home. Heroes do not rake in squillions of dollars by flinging a football around for 5 or 6 months out of the year (and in Favre's case, he really did usually just fling, rather than expertly throw, the ball).

I guess I can understand why the people of Wisconsin feel so devastated by this retirement. The only other thing they have to look forward to every day is cheese. Although, I do like cheese. A lot...You know what, scratch that, Wisconsinites are lucky to have cheese to look forward to every day.

Feeling Gross

I'm spending the next two days out of the office. Today because I've got the flu or a respiratory infection or something equally gross, and tomorrow for jury duty. Or, as my co-worker Thom calls it, the "world's worst vacation."

I played the part of a 70-year old smoker all weekend with my voice, but didn't start feeling sick until last night. What I really needed today was to wear sweatpants and stick tissues up my nose, and I can't really get away with that in the office.

This is my first time being called for jury duty, and aside from what others have told me about their experiences, I'm not totally sure what to expect. Hopefully I won't get picked for any cases, but from what I hear white women are quite in demand in these parts. They won't be able to get rid of me fast enough if I keep sneezing and coughing all over the place, though.