Monday, April 21, 2008

Crazy Dead Dog Lady

Yesterday I woke up at 6:45 because I was expecting someone from Comcast to install a DVR box, and I was told they would be there any time between 7 and 10 a.m. Of course they're not going to show up at 7, but I thought I should get up just in case. He didn't get there til 10:45, and I was so bored I actually watched 3 episodes of Full House. The ones where they go to Disney World.

Anyway, my equipment was installed quickly and with no major issues to deal with. It looked like all the rain in the area had a chance of missing Baltimore, and that my football game would actually happen. No luck - we had a half hour downpour that canceled all games. So I just parked on the couch for the rest of the day.

I was watching Celebrity Fit Club when there was a knock at my door. Since there is no peep hole, I cracked the door open to see who it was. It was the crazy lady who lives downstairs. Let me give you a little background on this character.

I don't know her name - I've ever gone out of my way to learn it, and she's never asked me mine. She's made comments to me before, usually complaining about the mailboxes or the laundry room or something similar. One time she made a snide remark about my being a lonely single because I was home on a Tuesday evening, and I chose to ignore her. When I first moved in last July, I noticed that she had a morbidly obese dachsund, and she often let it wander around outside by itself. In downtown Baltimore. On St. Paul Street. Anyway, I noticed that I hadn't seen the dog in a while, but there was also a mysterious box sitting on the curb in front of the building (now referred to as the "Box of Fright"). In late July, it gets quite steamy, and after a few days, the box had a bunch of flies buzzing around and it was....leaking...something. And it smelled really bad. I poked the top of the box off to see what was inside, and it was a garbage bag wrapped around something that was in the shape of a fat dachsund. You can see where I'm going with this.

Anyway, so crazy dead dog lady asks me if she can use my phone because she locked herself out of her apartment. So of course I dial the emergency maintenance weekend line for her. They said they'd be out shortly, and she went away. 10 minutes later she knocked on my door again, asking me if her phone rang. Confused, I asked if she left her phone in my apartment, which makes no sense because her phone was locked in her apartment. No, she wanted to know if my phone had rung, because it sounded like her phone...which also made no sense. I kind of stared at her for a minute, trying to figure out what she was getting at, and then she left.

She came back again another 10 minutes later, not asking if she could use my phone, but instead telling me she needed to use my phone. So I let her, then sat back down to watch tv. While she's on the phone, I hear a rustling sound and I turn to see her taking candy off my coffee table. I didn't realize candy I kept in the privacy of my own apartment was communal to the entire building, but whatever. I didn't argue. Once she finished eating my candy and talking on my phone, she left, and the maintenance guys finally showed up to let her back in her apartment.

And I'm going to see if I can get a peephole installed.

1 comment:

OM said...

You should have known better than to leave a box of candy near the communal phone, right? I would buy her a cellphone. It's better than another visit.